2. The Op.....

Well, I was going in on Thursday, I wondered when my operation would be, Monday I thought, Karen thought Friday, God she was right again. Jeff my big bros. was going through everything I was going through, god he must have been hell to live with, me, I wasn't, but then again I do stay by masel', so I have a very biased point of view.

Suprisingly I slept like a log that night, probably the accumulation of so many sleepless nights the week before, then Jeff took me up to the Southern General Hospital, to check into my accomodation for the next few days, surprise, surprise, I was shaking like a leaf, at least it reminded me of why I was going in. Jeff stayed for a few hours till I got my bed, still the happy one cracking jokes, it was the customary twenty questions, when he pipes up to the nurse, "He starts to shake when he tells lies !" It was alright for him, he had more than three pints last night !!

Later on Mr. Partick came round, and informed me I would be in theatre for 8.30 a.m. hell no lie in for me tomorrow, I was iniformed that I would be knocked out while they drilled the hole in ma heid, then they would waken me, and whatever I did just don't move !!!!!!.............Cheers !

Friday Morning..............

I was kitted out with my backless robe, and tights, sorry stockings, thankfully I have not continued this fettish !I had to label my teeth and give them in for safe keeping, bye bye teeth, you have no secrets in hospital !!

Of we went furra burrel down to theatre, God I love that bit, all the lights going by WHISH......WHISH.......... just like in the movies.

"Morning Gary, you might feel a tiny jab."

"Aha I thought this is where you count to ten."

Christ I got up to 45 before I realised the real one was still to come, the next time I don't remember getting past ONE ! The worst thing about this operation was that, normally you go to sleep and when you wake up it's all over, not this one, "Oh no!" When you wake up in this operation it is just about to begin, I remember Mr. Partick saying it should only take half an hour, "Ya dancer," I thought, "That's not bad."

"Unless we run into problems," he added.

"Gary, Gary, wake up, don't move ! Or we'll cut your arm off !"

I awoke in the theatre with a green square tent over my head, basically they explained that you are awake so as they can talk to you and get your tremor going, no need for assistance on that part I thought, God I was going like the clappers, when they do the leezions, or zapping as I prefer to call it, I have been asked is it sore ? Does it hurt ? the best way to describe it is the following.............

.................when you're out for a stroll in the country and climb over a fence , then find out it's electric, or you get out of your car and get a static shock off of the door, that's what you feel a wee zap ! No honestly it's not sore and it doesnae hurt.

When they zap you, you have to tell them if you feel any tingling, if you do, TELL THEM ! You know what tingling is ? And if I was in any doubt, I sdaid yes anyway. Well it's better to be safe than sorry. Well could Mr. Partick stop the tremor, not a chance. At one point my leg and arm stopped shaking but my eye was going like the clappers, through my mind all I could think about was, when you're in the pub of an evening you can get away with spilling a pint over a guy, but to stand winking at him all night. No chance ! I thought, I would just end up with a sore face !!! This operation I thought was taking longer than half an hour, and I was right , as usual I was causing problems. Mr. Partick, started asking me questions, like, "What is the definition of too many cooks spoil the broth ?" Well my hand was going now !! I didn't even know what DEFINITION meant !! Then he asked me to explain "What a rolling stone gathers no moss meant ?" This is a question that will go to the grave with me. I hadn't a clue. I heard him saying it wasn't working, that's when I thought it wasn't going to go right, "It's downhill from here on in," I thought. Then Karen slapped me on the face, and I remember her saying always think positive and it will work out, so I started telling myself, "Of course it's going to work, ya daft eegit !!!!!"

Four hours later I heard Mr. Partick saying to someone, "Well this is the last shot, then we call it a day." They then proceeded to stitch me up and wheel me out of the theatre, as they wheeled me out of the doors, I just couldnae stop greetin', I don't know why, but cry I did, very butch Gary, especially in front of those beautiful nurses !!! I don't think. I honestly didn't know tear ducts held so much water, where does it all come from ?? Answers please on a postcard to me at my email address. Half an hour later I eventually stopped greetin', and one of the young nurses wanted to take me upstairs, the tears must have done the trick, I'm in here, I thought, I've scored here. The tears must have done the trick.But she just wanted to see this labourer who was working on the ward, like the diet coke advert, my bubble soon burst, back to reality and the ward about half past twelve.

I was lying there in the ward, and I was looking at the patient in the bed across from me who had a visitor, he thought I needed help, so his wife came across to see if I was alright, the only thing I could say was, "Can I have some of your cakes, please ?" God I was starving, so two jam doughnuts were soon stuffed down my throat, I was feeling better already. All I could remember was Mr. Particks' voice, saying that he thought it hadn't worked, now I had a new spasm in my arm, it kept jumping up from left to right, honest ! All I could think about was it hadn't worked, I had thought about being paralysed but not having a worse tremor !! I had no headaches. I didn't have tubes coming out all over my body, I wasn't wired to a monitor, that was it done, major brain surgery, there's nothin' to it, I thought.

But I still couldnae stop cryin', because in my mind it hadnae worked. That night Jeff and Karen came up and I was walking about the ward, once they left I had a sore head, I said to the nurse about this, and got a bollocking I should be in bed, she gave me some painkillers which worked. Rest I was told, and rest I did. You have no choice in hospital at the weekend. I always remember waking up on Saturday morning and hearing a cockrel sound, "Cock-a-doodle-doo!!!" Hell what's happened to me I thought, but I was relieved to find out that the man at the end of the ward was blind, and he had one of these talking alarm clocks. PHEEEEWWWWW!!

Mr. Partick came round on Monday morning, by this time I was walking about the ward, but still tremoring. He mentioned that he might like another shot once they find out how near they were to the spot. No bloody chance, I thought, go through all that again, he must think am bloody stoopid !!

Before he left I asked him what the definition of a rolling stone gathers no moss was ?

To which he replied,"I don't know, I was just trying to stress you out !"

Well it worked !!

On the Tuesday I still had some headaches but not as bad as the ones on Friday, I was to go for a scan, to make sure there were no clots, etc.., collect some painkillers and that was me, off to stay with my pals Kenny and Allison, in Old Kilpatrick, just outside Glasgow. Well the operation hadn't worked !! But at least I gave it a go!

The operation had failed, or so I thought ..............................................

• Contents
• Back: 1. The Operation
• Next: 3.The recoop, recoup, getting better..........................

This site is © Copyright The Adrienne Coles Memorial Trust 2000, 2001, 2002.
The Adrienne Coles Memorial Trust is a Registered Charity with Charity Commission for England & Wales, registration number 1084973.
For more information and suggestions email the webmaster.