3. The recoop, recoup, getting better..........................

My brother Jeff picked me up at the hospital and took me to my pals Kenny and Allison where I was to bide furra coupla days. I really wanted to go back home but because I stayed on my own they were having none of it. So Kenny and Allisons' hoose was where I was going, no questions asked !!!!!

On my first afternoon there I went furra stroll and four hours later I realised I had lost my wallet, where ? I hadn't a clue, and Jeff being a cop in Glasgow, I couldn't tell him, my first mistake ! The next day Jeff phoned up asking if I had lost my wallet ? "Maybe..........?" was my reply. Well the story goes, an honest member of the public handed it in to the local police station, and they found my phone number on my PDS card, ( see they do come in handy sometimes ), but I wasnae home, but one of the officers recognised the name Hattie, and phoned up Jeff to see if he knew me, to right he did ! What was that they say, you cannae keep secrets from your family, well, it's bloody right.

Anyway enough of my babbling on, back to getting better. My tremor still wasn't getting better, weel it wiz getting better but it wisnae stopping which it should've, but a few other things cropped up, please read on.............on Wednesday I decided to walk Kara and Abby (Ken and Allisons' two wee lassies)to school, usually we have a bit of a carry on, and they thought it was really funny the way I kept walking OFF the kerb, to the left hand side, but I wasn't meaning it !! What was hapening to me ?? That morning my sister 'n law Karen was taking my stitches out at her office in the Royal Infirmary in Glasgow, WITHOUT an aenesthetic, I might add, at the time I didnae realise how brave I was. I decided to talk to Karen about the walking carry on this morning, but the minute I started talking I broke down, I couldnae stop greetin', what a wimp, she told me to calm down, that it would take time to heal, I had just had major brain surgery. Four hours op and out in four days, that didnae seem that major to me.

Stitches out ! And I survived. Okay, I might have let out a scream or two !!!!! Jeff ran me down to Selkirk. Back home, YES ! I couldnae wait. Unfortunately for me my house is up 40 stairs and is upstairs downstairs, which was to prove a bit of difficulty to me, Jeff helped me unpack and I asked him if he could drop me off up the town so I could get some flowers to send to the nurses in the ward to say thanks fur puttin' up wi' me ! Yes I really am a big safty ! Jeff dropped me off and I said toodle pip see you soon an aw that, then the FUN began ! Talk about slow ! I could hardly walk, a major shock to the system, as just recently I used to run half marathons. On walking back home I met my neighbour Francis Steeley, who hadn't realised I had been in hospital.

"How are you Gary, you okay ?"

My reply was just to start GREETIN' again. Jesus this was becoming a bit of a habit.

Back home that night Karen phoned to suggest I might have to speak to someone, some counselling might be called for, I had already realised that, after the day I had, had. I was going to see my doctor the next day, I would ask him then.

At the docs he agreed, and he would arrange for the counsiller to get in touch with me, I don't know what I was expecting, but I felt I needed to speak to someone right away, no chance this was the Borders. On getting back home, I phoned up the Glasgow office of PDS and spoke to Alexis Rae, I asked if they had any counsillers in the Borders, silly question, Alexis realising I was a bit upset, said I was to hang up the phone, make a cup of tea and she'll phone me back. You can guess what happened next.....................................

The story so far, in my eyes the operation hadn't worked, I couldn't walk properly, I kept losing my balance, and I think it was safe to say I was emotionally unstable. Alexis had told me this was all happening because of the brain surgery causing swelling in the brain, but I was togive the swelling time to go down and all these problems would go away. It was the first positive words I had heard so, I couldnae wait !

Other things that happened to me were mood swings, if I lived with anyone they would have murdered me long ago, depression had set in, my doctor had put me on a course of anti depressants, insomnia, not only that I couldnae sleep very well, thank goodness I had Sky television. It made those long nights slightly bareable, I used to go furra stroll down by the river at about 6 a.m.

My tremor now had calmed down, maybe it HAD worked, after all. The only thing was it was really active when I went to use it, the oposite of what I had before I went in. My next calamity was about to happen bearing in mind what I said about my hand when I was using it, it went like the clappers, one Saturday afternoon I decided to make some coleslaw. You can probably imagine what happened next. You can also imagine how difficult it is to keep the cabbage still CHOP ! CHOP ! CHOP ! OH, S*!#T !! Next stop, my neighbours, who thankfully were in, to get a lift to hospital. Some stiches were required on the thumb, on my next visit to the Docs., he made an appointment for an Occupational Therapist to see me, good idea I thought.

"By the way I said, I still haven't heard from the counsellor," I said.

This was now 4 weeks on, now. Thank god it wisnae urgent !!!!!! I still had severe depression moods at this time, but the tremor was definetely getting better.

I purchased a word processor and a dictaphone, being left-handed I was having great difficulty writing and taking notes. I was by now pining to go back to work even though I was still suffering badly mentally. But I couldnae see this. I got my appointment for the counsellor only six weeks after my first appointment with the doctor. I would keep my appointment to see how I was. WAS I REALLY READY ?????????

To summarise my getting better period, it was very traumatic, but I feel it would have been a lot easier if I had had some communication or warning of what to expect when I came out of hospital after the op., everyone concerned on the medical front, that I spoke to, knew this would happen to me and were surprised as much as I was that nobody had told me, so was I !

So what is happening now 10 months on after the operation, the present is to follow in the future......................

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• Back: 2. The Op.....
• Next: 4. The Present................

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